Protecting My Peace: Why I Avoid Toxic People and Places on My Healing Journey

Protecting My Peace: Why I Avoid Toxic People and Places on My Healing Journey

When I was diagnosed with glioblastoma, everything changed. I became hyper-aware that my body and mind needed nurturing. Little did I realize how much the people and places around me could shape my healing. I remember one afternoon on treatment recovery, feeling unexpectedly drained after a visit with a friend who complained constantly. A knot of stress formed in my chest, as if the tension had settled into my bones. It was a wake-up call. I learned the hard way that every bit of negativity adds to the stress my body must fight, and as cancer survivors we simply can’t afford that.

My experience isn’t unique. Researchers have found that cancer patients in distressed relationships fare worse. One study showed breast cancer survivors in troubled marriages had higher stress levels, slower physical recovery, and more symptoms than those in healthy relationships. The added stress from a toxic relationship can have real health consequences, and lead to a poorer recovery from cancer. I saw echoes of that in my past. Toxic relationships in my life—ones marked by control, criticism, or emotional withdrawal—left me feeling physically sick. Every harsh word or manipulative comment seemed to tax my already burdened system. Toxic people really do drain your energy and leave you exhausted. Over time I realized: the fewer toxic interactions I had, the more mental space and strength I had to heal.

The Toll of Chronic Stress

Stress is sneaky. It builds slowly, often disguised as "normal life." But for me, the constant tension from certain friendships and a previous job kept me in survival mode even before my diagnosis. When I look back, I see how chronic stress was a thread running through everything. It affected how I slept, how I ate, how I responded to treatment.

Science backs this up. Chronic stress can disrupt our body’s defenses and even speed up the progression of illness. Studies show that long-term stress weakens the immune system, increases inflammation, and can even accelerate tumor growth. It creates a hormonal environment in the body that is simply not conducive to healing.

One thing I now understand: the body keeps the score. It remembers every moment of panic, every insult endured in silence, every time I swallowed my feelings to keep the peace. That scorecard adds up. I do not say this to scare anyone but to highlight the reality that our environments—especially the emotional ones—have a direct impact on our ability to recover.

Letting Go, Choosing Peace

After my diagnosis, I began to shift. I started letting go of people who only called when they needed something, who made me feel small, or who dismissed my boundaries. I stopped explaining myself to people who had no interest in understanding. I began to guard my peace like it was medicine.

I also started leaning into relationships that uplifted me. The beautiful thing is, my life now is filled with genuine love and support. My husband is one of the most grounding and compassionate people I know. He is a safe place—and that safety is something I never take for granted. It is a reminder of what healthy love looks and feels like.

Supportive environments matter. They allow us to breathe deeply, to rest, and to regenerate. They become part of our treatment plan. I now choose peace over approval, calm over chaos, and joy over justification. I remind myself often: healing is not just about medicine or doctors. Healing is also about protecting your space and choosing people who pour back into you.

For Anyone Walking This Path

To anyone on a healing journey—you deserve more than just survival. You deserve peace. You deserve love that doesn’t hurt. You deserve environments where your body can exhale and your soul can be at ease.

So if someone’s negativity makes your chest tight or steals your joy, it is okay to walk away. If a situation makes you question your worth, it is okay to choose yourself. Trust that the right people—the ones who honor your healing—will never make you beg for peace.

I have walked through fire and come out softer, not harder. My peace is hard-won, and I protect it fiercely now. And I hope, with all my heart, that you learn to protect yours too.

— Johnathan (JohnVsGBM)

Works Cited

American Cancer Society. "Emotional Health and Cancer." Cancer.org, https://www.cancer.org/treatment/survivorship-during-and-after-treatment/understanding-recurrence/emotional-health.html. Accessed July 2025.

Kiecolt-Glaser, Janice K., et al. "Chronic stress and age-related increases in the proinflammatory cytokine IL-6." Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, vol. 100, no. 15, 2003, pp. 9090–9095.

Revenson, Tracey A., et al. "Marital quality and psychological adjustment in breast cancer patients and their spouses." Psychosomatic Medicine, vol. 66, no. 6, 2004, pp. 935–943.

Segerstrom, Suzanne C., and Gregory E. Miller. "Psychological stress and the human immune system: a meta-analytic study of 30 years of inquiry." Psychological Bulletin, vol. 130, no. 4, 2004, pp. 601–630.

Slavich, George M., and Michael R. Irwin. "From stress to inflammation and major depressive disorder: a social signal transduction theory of depression." Psychological Bulletin, vol. 140, no. 3, 2014, pp. 774–815.

Tugade, Michele M., et al. "Positive emotions and health: going beyond the negative." Health Psychology, vol. 23, no. 1, 2004, pp. 42–53.